Sept 2025: How and when did you become a different person?
Originally Written 9/11/25
How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks.
- Dorothy L. Sayers
For those who are unfamiliar
There's a post I've seen around the internet basically saying if you took a human from some point long ago and dropped them in the modern day they'd be overwhelmed with changes, but if you took a duck from as long ago and brought it to today it'd be like "Hell yeah, there's still ponds". The post ends with someone commenting the quote above.
I feel like a duck in this case. I don't really feel like I've ever sort of been a different person. I feel like if you took me from 10 years ago and dropped me into my life today, I'd largely be the same. That's not to say things haven't changed, I've certainly learned things in that time, and live very differently than I did from 10 years ago but... I'm still just me?
On Stubborness
It's a bit of a double edged sword honestly. If you talk to anyone who knows me well, and ask them to list some defining traits, other than the glorious beard, they will list that I'm stubborn. It's very hard to change my mind about much, and I'm very set in my habits.
I spoke with one of my friends about this one time. He was complaining about how he can't stand people who are stubborn, and I asked how he dealt with me then? He explained that, despite me being stubborn, I'm open to the idea that I could be wrong. My stubborness comes from me feeling like I've looked into a topic, or thought about a solution, and that whatever opinion or solution I've come up with I feel confident is the correct one. To get me to change my opinion or solution, I need to be presented with facts as to why I may be wrong. I also want to add in, it's not just that I need someone to present me with facts as to why I'm wrong, but I also usually ask friends after something happens "Did I react correctly here? Did I misunderstand something? Could I have handled that better?". One thing I actually pride myself on is how, despite being in an argument with someone, I'm usually able to explain their side in a neutral way, or at least a way that gets their point across, when talking to third parties about it. I've actually had people who I'm disagreeing with, when they hear me explain their side/ perspective, compliment me on being able to articulate their side correctly. I attribute that to genuinely wanting to understand where the other person is coming from, to then reevaulate my own perspectives or beliefs. Usually, I still think I'm right, but I do think it's important to at least consider what the other person is trying to get at.
I think as part of this stubborness, I'm also incredibly just.. consistent? The way my friend describes it is he always knows how exactly I'll handle a given situation, because it's the same exact way I've been doing it since he met me back in Middle School. Not to say that I'm immature, but there's a logic and process I tend to follow, and so it's not hard to take that logic or process and apply it to new situations. Along with this too, is I think my dependability. One of the traits I pride myself on is how dependable I am to the ones I care about. I think this stems from stubborness as, internally, if I give my word or say I'm going to be there at a certain time, you can sure as hell believe I'm going to be there, because I'm too stubborn with myself to slack off on something like that. That also usually means though I'm very intentional with when and where I give my word or make plans.
On becoming an adult
Because of some things from my childhood, I sort of had to grow up fast, and from late High School onwards there was a lot of responsibility I either put on myself or had put on me to work and make money. Some of the reason was just because I wanted money to be able to do things, but especially once I hit college the pressure was mostly because I needed money to survive. Between a mixture of my incredible consistency, and having to grow up sort of early, I don't really think I've changed much since leaving High School. Obviously, I've learned more things - I simply have more life experience. I've also done more things - I've had my own apartment, I now live with my SO, I have a steady job and relatively steady schedule, and so many more experiences that just sort of come along with being alive for longer. But... I'm still me?
On being sure of oneself
I've gotten the compliment a decent amount of times in my life that I've always seemed sure of myself, or knew who I was. While these are very nice compliments, I always felt amazed that was the vibe I gave off. Internally, I've never really felt that sure of myself - lots of anxiety about if I said the right thing, do people like me, did I talk too much, too little, etc. Sort of felt like:
So What's Changed?
Despite me being functionally the same, there has been some things that have changed about myself over the years, which I do want to share:
- I'm not as picky - for the longest time, I was an incredibly picky eater. I still am in some ways. I always tried to make sure I didn't make it other people's problem though - If my friends wanted to go somewhere I didn't like, I'd tag along and just not eat. If I was at someone's house and they offered me something I didn't like, I'd politely decline saying I ate the previous meal late or something. But in the last year or two, I've really been trying to try more things and eat better. I've not been fully succesful, but I have tried more things recently than I have in a long time.
- I don't debate as much - I remember in my teen years I used to "debate" or argue with just about anyone online. I felt if I just got the facts in front of the person (I'd provide peer reviewed articles or well known neutral news sources), they would change their mind. As I've gotten older (I say, only being around 30), I've realized that... yeah... it's useless. People don't really change their mind like that, especially online. It's just more peaceful to not engage with that stuff anymore.
- I've gotten heavier, and more out of shape - I bring this up because this was genuinely a revelation for me. Growing up, I was always heavier than my friends. I was also the least athletic of the bunch. Because of that, I always felt like I was just so overweight it was shameful, to the point of not wanting to be shirtless at beaches and such. However, looking back, I've realized that I was actually pretty skinny overall. I also had been passively kept in shape walking for college and with a retail job. I didn't think my fitness levels could drop any lower, but oh boy they did. And that made me have.. I don't know, more kidness towards my younger self? A sort of feeling of "Oh buddy, you shouldn't have been so hard on yourself!". From what I heard though, I think a fair amount of people have had similar revelations looking back at their High School selves.
Wrap Up
The question of how have I changed over the years, is always a bit of a tricky one for me. It's in the same bucket for me as when people asked "who's your hero?". I just never feel like I have a great answer. But, I enjoy that this prompt has given me the opportunity to reflect a bit.
About this blog post
This post is for the Bear Blog Carnival. It's a collection of folks making blog posts, largely on https://bearblog.dev/, all around some sort of central theme that changes monthly. If you're interested in participating, follow the link above!
Where to find me:
The best place to find me is on my website. You can see other posts I've made, some tech tutorials, and a bunch of other stuff!
Thanks for reading,
- Moose